We had a late start as the funeral wasn't until 2.45pm. There was no point making it earlier because of the travelling some of us had to do and we weren't going to risk being late or not turning up at all. We all left Northampton at 11am and had a surprisingly good journey down to Dartford. As we were quite early, we drove to the Crematorium to make sure we knew where it was and then popped to a nearby cafe for a coffee and a bite to eat.
Poor Mikey has a terrible cold at the moment so we called into a Co-op to get him some lozenges and cough medicine and then headed back to Eltham Crematorium. When we got there we saw that my parents had already arrived with my Aunt Pat (Dad's sister) and Uncle Alan.
The weather had turned absolutely beautiful which was a huge bonus as I'm sure there was rain forecast. Gradually all the family arrived and there were lots of hugs and kisses but none of us looked really sad which was a relief. I felt that the funeral should be a celebration of Nan's life, rather than a depressing event.
The funerals at the Crematorium are a bit conveyor belt, to be honest, but it was still a lovely service. My mum was a bit emotional which was only to be expected and when I stood to do my Eulogy my heart was beating really fast with nerves. Keith had told me to speak slowly and I managed to get through it with only a few tears which was a huge relief! Afterwards Keith said I did really well and my mum was very pleased with what I'd said.
After the funeral itself was over and we'd looked at all the flowers, Keith, the kids and I left first as I wanted to make sure there was someone in the Community room (where Nan lived) to welcome everyone back. The traffic was absolutely horrendous and there'd been a bad accident on the A2 so we diverted through Bexley and managed to arrive first even though I was convinced we would be last because of the congestion.
Even though there was a bit of an atmosphere (there's been a bit of a rift with my Uncle Terry's side for over 20 years) we still had a very pleasant couple of hours chatting to everyone and the ice was melted a little bit. It would be great to think we could all meet up again - I had a great conversation with Nicki, my cousin's wife, who is also doing the family tree - but I have a feeling it will just be funerals from now on. But you never know...
We left Dartford at 6pm and had a good journey home despite it being Friday night. Keith and I escaped to the pub for an hour for a drink - bliss!
A poem:
Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow;
I am the diamond glints on snow;
I am the sunlight on ripened grain;
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning hush I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow;
I am the diamond glints on snow;
I am the sunlight on ripened grain;
I am the gentle autumn rain.
I am the quick uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft star that shines at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die.
Mary Frye 1932
2 comments:
Hi Janie,
I am so sorry to hear of your Nans passing and glad that everything went off ok at the funeral.They are not the happiest of places at the best of times
When my mum passed away and we were clearing out her house I came across that poem hand written by my mum and she had left it in a place where it would be found quiet easily.I got copies done for everyone in the family and kept the hand written one as my copy.I have it in a safe place and every time i feel a little down,I think of those words and feel my mum is still around...
God Bless
Wendyx
That's lovely, Wendy. It's a beautiful poem and I'm sure your mum knows how much comfort you get when you read it.
Janie xx
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