A little wobble...

I didn't sleep well last night and woke up feeling a bit down this morning. The change in Sheila had been worrying me, so when I went into work this morning, I asked Sheila exactly how stressful the job was. She had been in very early again, and I mentioned I'd hardly seen her drinking or getting up from her desk. She admitted it was stressful, and I said there was a fine line between being nicely busy and being overwhelmed with work. However, she did say that entering the timesheets would soon be a thing of the past, as this was becoming digitalised, thank goodness! I even found out I need to ask for holiday on a paper form!

I spent the rest of the day entering hours, and we had another Teams meeting at 11:00am with the payroll department, which nearly sent me to sleep. I was beginning to wonder if I'd made the right decision... What was also worrying was whether my contract had been received by the payroll department so that my wages would be sorted out by the next payday. I had a niggling feeling my contract hadn't been submitted in time, which could mean no pay this month, a very worrying prospect.

We worked through lunch again, and tried to sort out some of the problems on the timesheets, which had engulfed our desks again. I absolutely cannot work in a mess, or with loads of bits of paper everywhere. It just feels like I'm being overwhelmed!

I left at 4pm and felt even more miserable than this morning. When I got home, I burst into tears and said to Keith that I wished it was how it used to be... working for my old company, in my old office (not where we moved to) and doing my old job. It was an impossibility, but I needed to vent!

When Sophie arrived home, we sat in the kitchen and talked about my day. She quite rightly said that I had a history of getting tearful in a new job, but I admitted honestly that I really didn't want to work anymore; I'd had enough! I also said that I felt like I'd had no choice but to leave my old job, so I was trapped.

It felt good to let it all out, and by the time we had dinner, I felt a little better. To cheer me up, we watched an episode of Best Medicine, which was excellent. I've almost forgotten about Doc Martin now, as this new series is just as good!