Not the best of days!

I went into over 100 emails this morning at work, one of the highest amounts I've ever dealt with, not counting the first days of covid when we had thousands! Sara is still ill and Sheila was training yesterday, so she certainly didn't have time to deal with them.

By 2pm, I had managed to get them down to single figures and knew that, by tomorrow, they'd be more manageable! It was a pleasant shift, and Keith collected me as he'd been shopping. It was a lovely day outside, with blue skies and sunshine, but it was still cold.

I dropped Keith off at home and went over to see Mum and Dad. As soon as I entered the room, my Dad mumbled something about the CD player again, asking how to use it. I showed him again and then plugged the headphones in so he could use them if he wanted to listen to music and Mum wanted to watch the television.

I then looked at Mum's phone which was cluttered with numerous old messages, deleted them all and put the phone onto charge as the battery was dead. When I finished, Mum asked me about the dates we're going to Mallorca for Christmas and my Dad suddenly launched into a nasty speech, saying he hoped it would rain every day and that we'd have a terrible time! I couldn't believe what he was saying, to be honest, and asked him to repeat it, which he did, this time saying it was disgusting that we were going away and leaving them...

I immediately got to my feet, kissed my Mum goodbye and left. She hurried out after me and one of the carers became concerned that she was rushing, so she called the senior carer. We had a discussion in the library where Jessica, the senior carer, said that they'd discussed our decision - really? - and that we were quite entitled to go away if we wanted! I dread to think what has been said about us!

This is it with my Dad now. I doubt I'll be able to speak to him again after this outburst. It's obvious there is a deep dislike for me and the rest of my family, and this isn't the first time he's been nasty. He never says thank you for the things I do, and just seems to treat me like a skivvy, asking for things as soon as I enter the room, and never asking after the children or Keith. I understand that his life hasn't turned out how he hoped it would after he retired, but he seems to be increasingly bitter and resentful. I don't think he realises that Keith is getting on as well, and how long will I be able to go on holiday with him? I want to try and make the best of it while we can.

I drove home feeling sad and angry. We have had fabulous Christmases in the past with both my parents, and my grandmothers, and this is only the second time, ever, that we have gone away at Christmas. The last time was in 2012 when we dared to go to Lanzarote, and I remember my Dad being angry about that then! I seem to remember both of them going to a hotel in 2019 but was I upset and angry? No, of course not!

Sophie and Keith were shocked by what my Dad had said and were very supportive. It did make me feel very sad, though, and I was upset that they couldn't be happy for us to go away and have a winter holiday. I haven't been off work for two weeks since September 2023 and the thought of some winter sunshine is keeping all of us cheerful!