Another setback...

Day 42

I really had high hopes for today, but sadly things haven't turned out the way any of us wanted them to.

Keith and I went over to Mum's first thing to find her dressed and doing things on the computer, so that was encouraging. From there we drove to Tesco to get some diesel and then onto Mawsley to pick up Dad's medication. We dropped everything back off at Mum's, made sure she was OK and then returned home.

Binty was due to arrive at midday and at about 11.30am she sent me a text saying she was about fifteen minutes away. I drove over immediately and met her (she was in a taxi) outside the Co-op in Broughton. Some horrible man had a go at me because I'd had to pull up opposite the lay-by, which I thought was completely uncalled for, especially as I was only there for about a minute! There are some nasty people around, unfortunately, and I suppose I should feel sorry for him rather than be angry. Imagine being like that!

The taxi followed me to Mum's house and we welcomed her in and I made them both a hot drink. Binty is very glamorous and had a very heavy suitcase with her! We all sat around the kitchen table and went through Mum and Dad's normal routine. I think my Mum was a bit bemused, if I'm honest, and I'm questioning myself as to whether this was the best course of action. I know it will take some adjusting to but I honestly don't know of any other route we could have gone down.

I stayed for a little while, showed Binty to her room and took her suitcase up for her. She wanted me to contact Social Services to change the bed my Dad has downstairs and to order a buzzer so he can call her in the night.

I returned home, had lunch with Sophie and then made some custard cream biscuits. The previously cloudy weather turned brighter and the sun came out, so that was a bonus! At 3.30pm I set off to the care home to fetch my Dad and when I arrived there was an ambulance outside... I prayed it wasn't for him!

When the ambulance had gone I rang the bell and they said they would bring my Dad down. I waited ages and finally he appeared, but he was in a wheelchair. I asked where his zimmer frame was and they said he hadn't been using it because of his fractured wrist, which was non weight-bearing. This was when I started to get a bit alarmed.

There was a physiotherapist with my Dad who seemed extremely capable but even he had trouble getting my Dad from the wheelchair to stand up. He never actually made it into the car. Another member of staff brought another zimmer frame down which had two gutters to put his arms, but I was in despair... how on earth were we going to get him out of the car at home and into the house? This was not what I was expecting at all.

The physiotherapist gently said that it would have been a good idea to have had a quick meeting with the care home manager to find out exactly how my Dad was, which I agreed with, but why hadn't they told me?

I asked to see the Manager who came out and was lovely. To cut a long story short, they have agreed to take Dad back as I felt there was no way we could look after him at home. Up until a few days ago they'd had to use a hoist to move him about.

I went home and felt terrible. Before going back to Mum's I picked up Keith and Sophie for moral support and we all went over to let Mum and Binty know what had happened. My Mum was upset and then started saying she didn't need Binty at home to look after her and would rather spend the money getting Dad into another care home. This was quite embarrassing seeing as Binty had only just arrived! Unfortunately, I do think my Mum needs looking after as she hasn't been eating at all and keeps feeling faint.

After a bit of a heated discussion, Keith, Sophie and I went home and tried to relax. I now need to try and sort something out tomorrow but I feel like I keep making the wrong decisions - this is the third time now I've tried to sort the situation out and I've failed.

Sophie cooked a delicious Paella in the evening and we did eventually manage to relax, thank goodness!