The crying game.

Day 31

Unfortunately, all I seem to have done today is cry. Not good!

I had to go to the Weston Favell Centre this morning to pay a bill on behalf of Mum and Dad and I saw one of the women we used to deal with when we had the business. As I was feeling very emotional anyway, it was quite hard speaking to her and explaining what had happened to Mum and Dad. This was when the crying started. Back outside, where Keith was waiting, one of our old staff members had stopped for a chat so this brought on the tears again, especially as she was so sympathetic.

Keith and I went to the hospital to take Mum's bag as she had nothing with her and needed some clean clothes and toiletries. I had to take the bag to a special part of the hospital where it was collected and taken up to the ward. The volunteer on the door was a neighbour!

Keith then suggested something that was a bit naughty - Mike has been back with Abbie for quite a while and I really miss my son. He said to call him and we could pop to the house and have a chat - from a safe distance, of course. I really needed to see him so we phoned and arranged to meet up. In my now very emotional state I burst into tears again and this carried on as we drove through the town.

As I've been living in Northampton for so long, there is not one patch of the town that doesn't hold a memory of some sort. With all the stuff going on with my parents, and the restrictions we're going through, the yearning for things to be normal again was really intense.

We stopped to see Mike and explained what had been happening and it was lovely to see him again. He seemed very concerned about me but we agreed to FaceTime every day and keep in touch. From the town we drove over to Mum and Dad's house and I sorted some things out while Keith popped to Tesco. To be honest, I hated being in the house on my own and it was truly painful to see the numerous happy photos about the place and all the things my parents have collected over the years.

I did a lot of tidying up and cleaning but Sophie and I are going to come back to give the house a proper clean at the weekend. I don't know what the long term future will hold for my parents but I do know they can't carry on the way they have been doing. It's not right for my Mum to have to sleep on a sofa at night and I need to start doing something to help them very soon.

Back home, just as I pulled up on the drive, Dad's care home called to say that last night he'd fallen by accident and they now suspected he had a fractured wrist. I couldn't believe it... what else can possibly happen this week? The care home said that he was going to the hospital for an x-ray and they would call us later when they knew what was happening.

We attempted to eat lunch (crumpets - and they were horrible so we put them out for the birds) and I spoke to the Occupational Therapist at the hospital about Mum. I am still getting numerous phone calls from different organisations and just as we were about to go out for a walk in the evening my Mum called. I am finding it very upsetting to talk to her at the moment so we said we would call back later and I turned my phone off.

To try and get some peace we all went for a walk to the village, through the sheep field and then back along the road. As usual, it was a glorious day and the sun shone from a gorgeous blue sky. The walk was lovely but I have to confess to having a lot on my mind, so maybe not the peace I was hoping for!

When we returned, Sophie made dinner and after we'd eaten we went upstairs to look out for the Elon Musk satellites that are orbiting the earth. We didn't see them but we did spot a lot of bats flying about!