Today has been a bit stressy at work so when I got home I suggested to Keith that we slip out for a drink for an hour. The other week I was talking about finding my perfect pub so I thought tonight we could make a start. But what makes my perfect pub?
I've been to two pubs in the past which have come very close - a very old inn just off the M20 in Kent and not far from Maidstone. We called in once on the way back from a day trip to France and I remember stone-flagged floors, low beams and log fires. The other is the The Falkland Arms at Great Tew where we went with friends a few years back. Both pubs served real ales and were friendly and welcoming.
It's a hard job, but somebody has to do it so we set off into the dark and misty night to The Tollemache Arms at Harrington. My perfect pub has to have:
Age - at least 16th or 17h century with a thatch if possible - the older the better
A real log or coal fire(s) - the more the merrier
Low wooden beams
Stone-flagged floors
A complete absence of piped or loud music
Real ales and a good choice of wine
Friendly welcoming staff
Friendly customers - not pompous prats
A dog lolling by the fire would be ideal, if not I'll accept a cat
Candlelit tables
Comfortable chairs - squashy sofas would be ideal and if they're mismatched so much the better
Good food at reasonable prices, ideally without things on a bed of pureed mash and accompanied by a jus
Cosy - not too smart or posh
No fruit machines or loud games with flashing lights
The Tollemache Arms did reasonably well. I ticked off a thatched roof, log fires, low beams, and the stone-flagged floors. Also present was the friendly Landlord, real ale (even if Keith isn't keen on Charles Wells Bombardier). It was cosy and welcoming and even though we didn't eat there, we saw it was a runner up for some Good Food award, so that looked promising. Harrington is a fairly remote village of thatched houses and is far enough away from main roads to make it nice and quiet. There were no fruit machines, only a skittles tables in the main entrance so that was fine.
There was however music playing, although not obtrusively, and two pompous prats having a conversation about the price of Ferrari tyres which spoiled things a bit so I'll deduct a few points for that. And there was no animal at all, so that's another point off. Overall I gave the pub 6/10 so not bad for a start!
On the way home we became completely lost, which was hilarious seeing as we were about 5 miles from home. I went a different way to the outward journey and we ended up on the narrowest single track road with no road signs at all and utter darkness. It could only happen to us!
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